Recently, upon achieving one success after the other - be it in terms of business or personal upgrading my professional qualifications in the market, I have come across a few people enquiring as how I got mentors.
Interesting isn't it? In a world full of people, many a times, we are unable to find the right person at the right time who can not only direct us to our paths of success but also provide invaluable guidance for our growth.
People are really surprised whenever they hear that I have 3 mentors who guide me in my journey - Neuro-Leadership, Human Resources & Entrepreneurship Development. My mentors are completely different from each other and I have met them at different points in my journey of life.
For those of you, who are seeking or have asked me few times about how I recognize and find my mentors, this article is dedicated to you.
To start with: How to recognize a person who can be a mentor material to you?
Before I answer this question, I would like to tell you that the path to success is actually a chain reaction and you need key linkages to make all the difference in your world.
How key linkages work?
You may have heard quite a few times, that people give jobs to people they know. Actually, I would like to further add here - People give jobs to people with whom they can connect with.
If you and I create a bond over a conversation or we have similar mindset in life or we share like minded thoughts about way of things, chances are that we have connected at some level sub-consciously. Consciously, we term this connect as "clicked with the person" or "just gelled like two peas in a pot".
Now how to use this connectivity to your advantage in terms of mentoring? We all have people whom we look upto, regardless of their age or presence in our lives. We all have a lot of people in our lives who love giving free advices.
You have met them, haven't you?
A mentor for me is a person who I can look upto as a role model. He / she is a person who has made it in their lives, where I would like to envision myself in few years' too. By this, I am not saying that I would like to work with the same organizations they do or would stalk them till they consent to be my mentors. But mentors are individuals who have really worked hard in their lives, have achieved battle scars to prove their worth and have also earned other people's respect over a period of time.
To give you few examples:
My first mentor was my grand uncle actually. I was about to get enrolled in a MBA program and he was my guide who would prompt me forward or adjust my way of approach. When I graduated, he was still around to give me a push here and there to help me take the first few steps in the corporate world.
My second mentor (who is still my mentor for Training & HR), was my ex-boss. My third mentor was a person I connected with on LinkedIn and my fourth mentor was the person under whose guidance I pursued my NLP certification.
Thing is, based on my experiences, I found that you have to be open to learning and un-relearning. Bouncing back quickly when faced with adversities and finding solutions to problems are few other things I found attracted like minded people towards you. I also found that standing up for myself and sticking with my stand also attracted people towards me. Mentors appreciate when they see you fight for yourself and your dreams. Mentors are also people. Sometimes, they also need to absorb some part of your positive and optimistic zeal to prove your worth so that they can in turn, feel motivated to guide you further.
What most people fail to understand about mentoring is that it is a two - way process. Just like communication.
Few questions that can assist you upon finding your mentor:
Article has been contributed by Coach Shruti Misra. All pictures used in this article are credited to Google Images. In case you want to be mentored or coached by Entrenador Shruti Misra, you can reach us for an appointment and her availability on the details provided at the top of this page.
Interesting isn't it? In a world full of people, many a times, we are unable to find the right person at the right time who can not only direct us to our paths of success but also provide invaluable guidance for our growth.
People are really surprised whenever they hear that I have 3 mentors who guide me in my journey - Neuro-Leadership, Human Resources & Entrepreneurship Development. My mentors are completely different from each other and I have met them at different points in my journey of life.
For those of you, who are seeking or have asked me few times about how I recognize and find my mentors, this article is dedicated to you.
To start with: How to recognize a person who can be a mentor material to you?
Before I answer this question, I would like to tell you that the path to success is actually a chain reaction and you need key linkages to make all the difference in your world.
How key linkages work?
You may have heard quite a few times, that people give jobs to people they know. Actually, I would like to further add here - People give jobs to people with whom they can connect with.
If you and I create a bond over a conversation or we have similar mindset in life or we share like minded thoughts about way of things, chances are that we have connected at some level sub-consciously. Consciously, we term this connect as "clicked with the person" or "just gelled like two peas in a pot".
Now how to use this connectivity to your advantage in terms of mentoring? We all have people whom we look upto, regardless of their age or presence in our lives. We all have a lot of people in our lives who love giving free advices.
You have met them, haven't you?
A mentor for me is a person who I can look upto as a role model. He / she is a person who has made it in their lives, where I would like to envision myself in few years' too. By this, I am not saying that I would like to work with the same organizations they do or would stalk them till they consent to be my mentors. But mentors are individuals who have really worked hard in their lives, have achieved battle scars to prove their worth and have also earned other people's respect over a period of time.
To give you few examples:
My first mentor was my grand uncle actually. I was about to get enrolled in a MBA program and he was my guide who would prompt me forward or adjust my way of approach. When I graduated, he was still around to give me a push here and there to help me take the first few steps in the corporate world.
My second mentor (who is still my mentor for Training & HR), was my ex-boss. My third mentor was a person I connected with on LinkedIn and my fourth mentor was the person under whose guidance I pursued my NLP certification.
Thing is, based on my experiences, I found that you have to be open to learning and un-relearning. Bouncing back quickly when faced with adversities and finding solutions to problems are few other things I found attracted like minded people towards you. I also found that standing up for myself and sticking with my stand also attracted people towards me. Mentors appreciate when they see you fight for yourself and your dreams. Mentors are also people. Sometimes, they also need to absorb some part of your positive and optimistic zeal to prove your worth so that they can in turn, feel motivated to guide you further.
What most people fail to understand about mentoring is that it is a two - way process. Just like communication.
- What are you seeking for yourself?
- What are you seeking from your mentor?
- What is/are the set of skill(s) you need to learn from your mentor?
- What is at stake and how much are you willing to invest?
- Who is more compatible towards you?
- What are your boundaries and have you set them before you join hands?
- What are your guiding ethics, beliefs and values?
- Are you sure that you will stick to your dream and find a way that leads towards it?
Ponder on the last question from above for few minutes.
I have had my share of mentors who have tried to take advantage of my dream and tried to make me do things that I would not normally do. For example, I was allotted a mentor who wanted to me "lie" to my network. Lying to my network and my friends is a HUGE NO in my bucket list of beliefs and values. When I refused, I was threatened to get fired. You know what: I refused to budge and called it quits. Later on, I came to know that the mentor's contract was also terminated in due course of time for not giving results.
Call it Karma or Law of Attraction. But the hard truth is, that to get ahead, you have to make sacrifices and stand up for yourself and your dreams. I did. While I carried on with my work and have good set of clients who respect me for my honesty and sincerity in the industry.
Second question that I am very frequently asked is: How do you tackle the situation when a mentor wants you to work on something that you strongly disagree with?
There will also be mentors who would be mentoring couple of other start-ups and people. They would also like you to work on projects which may or may not be in direct line of your interests. Trust me, it is completely alright and legal to say NO.
"No" is a powerful word. It gives you power over your decisions but also tells the other person that as you are choosy, you would rather do pursue your goals rather than work for someone else's. You may loose few people along the way. But the right mentor will also respect your decision and would really like to stay in touch.
Remember, the mentor needs you as much as you need them. It is a two-way process of mutual gain and professional interests.
Also remember, the simple word "No" takes you one step closer to your goal and takes you one step away from possible distractions.
Third question I frequently come across is: How do I get to know that this can be my mentor?
Very simply put: People who have progressed to some extent in their careers, are really looking forward to uplift others. You just need to tap that one question that will trigger a series of discussions towards a mutual goal. Some people are not very expressive. Whereas, some people are very talkative. You need to understand that at the end of the day, people are people. You need to have patience and respect towards others in order to receive the same.
With mentors, I did not get them immediately. It took time and a lot of patience. I needed to identify first as to what I am seeking. An understanding of myself led me to seek similar or more advanced skills in the same line in others. That is how, I recognized my mentors. It's instinct as well. People are always developing.
One of my mentors hadn't realized his true potential of excellence until I had approached and pushed him towards it. True mentors will always act like your guide in difficult times and give you space to develop yourself most of the time. They understand that it takes a lot of effort and will power to shape your career the way you want, having experienced the same themselves. They will also be the audience who will be looking out for you whenever, you do not seek them. Not necessarily, letting you go or you cutting off completely. But they are the ones who will always be available whenever you need some bit of advice. This may take few weeks, months or even years. With one of my mentors, I had reconnected over a gap of at least 5 years. This is completely alright.
Remember, mentors role is not to spoon feed you. They are also not there to hand hold you. They are there because you need to develop a likewise skill of excellence that will take you to the next level of your journey.
Understand that you need to be clear or have some what an idea as to the direction you wish you pursue before you approach anyone for mentorship.
Fourth question people frequently ask me: How much of time one needs to invest with their mentor?
Thing is to identify, learn and master a particular skill is actually relative. Some people can get it very quickly while others take time. This is a very different from the "use and throw" practices people have become accustomed to in the corporate world.
You cannot throw relationships aside just because you no longer have a need for them. People come and go in one's life all the time. It is very natural. You may have noticed it also between relatives, family members, or even friends.
Thing is, that everyone here is pursuing their own goals in life. They also need some space to collect themselves along the way.
Initially, if you are new to the industry or business or venture, you may need a mentor few times a week. Once you get the hang of things, then depending upon the nature of your work, you may either set a limit of the number of visit times or just approach as and when needed.
Do remember that the entire process is based on how you treat people and how you would want them to treat you. No body like being discarded once a task is accomplished. Therefore, would strongly advice you to do the same. Likewise, no body is expecting that they become part of your social or family circles. My advice is just to keep them at professional level.
Summing up:
Mentors are people too. Respect them and earn their respect is a two way process. Mentors need you to further their knowledge and experience just as much as you need them to help you with your progression in life. Therefore, my advice is to treat people the way you want them to treat you. Also, be clear and have a progressive mindset towards achieving your dreams. If you do not pursue your goals, no one else will on your behalf.
Article has been contributed by Coach Shruti Misra. All pictures used in this article are credited to Google Images. In case you want to be mentored or coached by Entrenador Shruti Misra, you can reach us for an appointment and her availability on the details provided at the top of this page.
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